this is your last chance, Tigerlilly!

Yesterday I had two questions jump into my head that both seemed fairly similar.

1) If I found out that Jesus would return tomorrow, how would I live today?

2) If I found out that I would die tomorrow, how would I live today?

The interesting thing here is that my natural responses to these almost identical questions are complete opposites from one another.

My response to question one is that I would certainly drop all of the "priorities" that I once had, no longer worrying about food, money, bills, or social standing, and run outside, trying with every last breath to prepare the people that I love so that they might know Jesus.

My response to question two is that I would probably view the day as my day, and spend it trying to experience all of the things that I enjoy, seeing only the people that I enjoy seeing.

To break these answers down into their roughest state, we'll call answer 1) selfless and answer 2) selfish.

I think that the differing responses come from the differing perspectives from which I view each question. For the first, I approach it with my eyes looking ahead to God. With the second, my eyes are turned inside toward myself. Even writing that, the second seems harsh and extreme, but as I look at the results of that, I'm forced to recognize something equally harsh. The life lived out by the inward gaze is the life that I actually live. In fact, the life lived out by fixing one's eyes on God seems foreign and unrealistic in the world we exist in.

However, it only takes one glance at the bible to realize that this foreign, unrealistic way was the way displayed by the disciples in the new testament.

Alright, that's my thought for the morning. I'm not going to proof read it or even finish it. Just think it over and finish it for me.

The Rich Man

Tonight I heard somebody talking about a mission trip to a third world country. She made an observation that I have heard many times. Something along the lines of, 'these people had so little, but their hearts were so good and kind.' I've been thinking about this a lot lately. It really seems to reflect, once again, the comment that Jesus made about the rich man (mark10:23).

It's funny, when this recession hit, I heard several preachers pointing out that you, me, and everyone we know, regardless of how poor we might be, are some of the wealthiest people in the world as far as money and resources go. Even with that knowledge though, there's this strange disconnect that happens when we go on to read that verse. It seems for most of us, regardless of how wealthy we are, we read that story and relate it to some guy we saw driving a Bentley down Park Avenue. We think, 'man, rich guys have a hard time letting go of things... but that's him, not me.'

I'm not condemning wealth. What I am saying is that perhaps a lot of this stuff in our lives does more to distract us from God than it does to enhance our lives. The reason for this is probably because our unconscious self centeredness brings us to use these things to do just that... enhance OUR lives. In reality, I think we would be better served (and better to serve) if we used these things to enhance the lives of others. Maybe many of these things that we acquire and then proclaim, "God has blessed me with (blank)" are really just tools for us to bless others.

I think I'm getting that realization that my life resembles a house. Within that house is a wall filled with golden trophies given to me by God. Only now I'm starting to think that maybe what I thought were trophies are really serving cups. Maybe I could be using them to give water to all those thirsty people that I've never invited into my house. I bet I could even go out to them.

you're WELCOME..... jerk

Today, just before I walked into the Mystic Mart gas station, I noticed that a man was about to walk out. Rather than opening the door and scuttling on in, I decided to open the door and hold it open for the man. Upon exiting, the man avoided eye contact and kept his mouth shut. I looked at his eyes, extending his chance to acknowledge me. Nothin. So, whatever... I just walked inside, paid for gas, and walked back out. Then I saw him sitting in his car. I looked at him again and began to think, 'you jerk... you selfish...'

Suddenly I stopped. What was I doing? Why was I mad at that guy? I didn't hold the door open so that I would be praised or thanked or kissed on the cheek... I held it open to help him out. To make his day the slightest bit easier.

This story may be about holding the door at a gas station, but it certainly translates to many situations throughout our day. What are your motives in helping/serving/giving? Don't fool yourself into thinking that the "thank you" is the most important part.

Step one: Walk

Some of you know that I've been wrestling with something over the last week or so. It's something that I don't know if I've ever seen anyone do. It's something Jesus said.

"Sell your possessions and give to those in need. This will store up treasure for you in heaven! And the purses of heaven never get old or develop holes. Your treasure will be safe; no thief can steal it and no moth can destroy it."

(luke 12:33)

I've had a few conversations with some friends about this. A general initial response is, 'well, if we give up everything for the poor, then real quickly we'll be poor and will have no way to help others.' The only problem with this is that many of the versus before this one seem to be preparing us in advance so that we won't try to make that defense.

"That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food to eat or enough clothes to wear. For life is more than food, and your body more than clothing."

After reading this, I asked myself, if I trust God, then why do I feel like I can't do this? I don't really own a lot of things, and I could easily continue to go to work even after selling everything, so it seems like it should be easier for me to do this than many other people. So why is it so hard? Is it because I don't trust? I don't think so. I don't think I could easily get myself to go bungie jumping, but it isn't because I think that the line would snap and I'd get hurt. More than that, I'm even confident that it would be an incredible experience that I would remember for years to come. The thing that makes bungie jumping easier is that all it takes is for you to have one split second of courage for you to jump off. After that you're already in it. If you suddenly become too fearful... well, it doesn't matter... because you're in the air.

But this leap of faith that is my potential life, doesn't seem to happen in an instant. It takes commitment and devotion. When God told Noah to build an ark, Noah didn't just say, "ok... whew! THAT was quite the leap of faith!" No, it was a long, ongoing LIFE lived devoted to God through living by faith.

I would like to know other people's thoughts and feelings about this.

sell: (pōleō) sell or barter

give: (didōmi) to give something to someone

a) of one's own accord to give one something, to his advantage

1) to bestow a gift

b) to grant, give to one asking, let have

c) to supply, furnish, necessary things

d) to give over, deliver

1) to reach out, extend, present

2) of a writing

3) to give over to one's care, intrust, commit

a) something to be administered

b) to give or commit to some one something to be religiously observed

e) to give what is due or obligatory, to pay: wages or reward

f) to furnish, endue

Sometimes you have a period of time, a block, a season, a whatever you want to call it, where you quickly notice a common topic that keeps popping up. Lately, for me, this topic has been suffering. I've been experiencing it in a sort of cycle that goes something like this: I feel fine, I learn about suffering, I suffer, I feel fine, I learn more, I suffer more, I get back on top of it, etc. Certainly this sounds like an undesirable process, and I'll be the first to tell you that when I'm in the middle of it, I do not desire it... but there's something more to it than pointless pain. Something so much more.

"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it."

What does it mean to take up your cross? Not too long ago, I heard some man preaching about becoming a 'manly man' and how when Jesus said to take up your cross, he was saying that you should fight. . . . . . . and at this point I would like to disagree with that notion completely.

Jesus was (is) so intense. He calls people to a deep level of commitment that is far beyond what most of us will take up.

I will explain what this verse means to me by telling you what I want for my life:

I want to seek God himself at any cost, by any road. I want to be so committed to God's will that I am eager and willing to destroy any chance of acquiring my own worldly desires. I want to be not only accepting of pain that is inflicted on me, but be able to be joyful about it just knowing that God can use it for something incredible. I want to be willing to give up, sacrifice, and deny all of the things that I designed for my life in order to follow Christ.

I know that a lot of people probably get knots in their stomach reading things like that and think that it

is out of line with what God wants for a person's life. But one simply has to open the bible to read countless

examples to the contrary. I think that, with the help of the enemy, man has devoted so much time to making

life easy that he has made life virtually impossible. We've been directed to avoid or ignore pain to the extent

that we never learn to reap its benefits. The truth of the matter is that pain and sacrifice churn up the rich soil

within us and allow us to experience such greater fruits than ever before. You can live the shallow life that

produces grass, or the deep, rich life that produces full trees of fruit.