5.19.2009

a mouse in a maze

Last night I realized something. The way that I act at work (mostly while frustrated) is giving a mixed signal. I say, "I'm happy" and that I follow Christ and that my life is secure in Him.... and people hear that... but then I get a bad tip or whatever the silly case may be.......................... and I act like everyone else in the world. Worse yet, most people that I see actually handle these things better than me! I'm so quick to feel like I'm not being given the appreciation that I deserve. Strangely, I've noticed that as soon as I start to feel that way, I actually stop behaving in a way that makes me deserving of anything. I stop being an asset and instead start being dead weight. 
So that was last night, and then this morning I went to work. "I wonder what awesome things Lander did today" you're probably saying.... well, I acted like a ten year old who couldn't handle the "stress" of his life, all while people around him were dealing very well with that same stress. People that didn't know God. People that didn't realize all that is out there... all that is in front of them. 
This is my struggle now. It has been discovered and my be neutralized. My pride has been getting in the way of people around me learning about what a Godly life can look like. Be humble, young man. Be humble and do good:)